New use for DVD hole...

If you've ever dropped by our house unexpectedly you know that Jack is a nudist. It doesn't matter if I put clothes on him, he takes them off when he goes potty. So on to the story. I was in the kitchen doing the dishes and Jack went potty. They boys were watching Polar Express and just hanging out. I came out to check on them and find Jack sitting on the couch, naked, playing with his penis. Well, not just playing, he was putting it in the hole of a DVD. I had to look twice, because I couldn't believe it! He said that it's a perfect fit when he "makes his penis big". We have this rule in our house, you're allowed to play with it, just in your bedroom or bathroom. We don't want to give the boys a complex, but when you find your 3 year old sitting on the couch stroking his penis you just have to shake your head. Nobody informed me that this stuff starts this early! I thought I had several more years before it happened. And to think I have another one to look forward to. If it's this bad at 3, I don't even want to know what it's like once he hits puberty!!!

Gatorade bottle has more than one use.

This morning Jack came into my room complaining that his knee hurt and he wanted some water. So I let him have a drink out of the water bottle next to my bed. He climbed in and was kind of restless, next thing I knew, he was sitting up puking in my bed...YUCK! So I moved him to the other side and before Zach could get upstairs with the puke bucket, he got sick again...IN OUR BED! Poor little man. So once we got down stairs, aired out our room, stripped and drenched my bed in Lysol, Zachary made a lemon-lime Gatorade run. At about 10am, Jack started feeling much better, he had gotten sick a couple more times, but once he got some animal crackers and Gatorade in his belly, he was good.

Fast forward to about 8pm, I'm clipping coupons at the kitchen table, both boys are playing and Zach was on the computer. All of a sudden I hear Zach yell, "What do you think you're doing?!?!?!" Jack walks over to me and hands me his Gatorade bottle. Zach says, "Ah, Robin, Jack just peed in that bottle." Um, excuse me?!?! I then asked Jack if he peed in the bottle and his response was, "Yeah, because that's what we do."

Now, let me take you back a few weeks ago. We had driven to Downtown Chicago to go to the Field Museum (our favorite!) and on the way home, Jack had to pee REALLY bad. I finally got up to an exit. Isn't it amazing that when you really need an exit, there's not another one for at least 5 miles?? Pulled into a gas station, ran as quick as possible inside for the key, only to be told that their bathroom is out of order!!! Seriously?!?! So I ran back to the van and Jack was jumping up and down at this point. So we had him pee in a cup and tossed it in their dumpster. My guess is, that's where Jack got it from, but the bathroom was about 15 steps, maybe 25 Jack steps away. Gotta love having a boy, they can pee anywhere AND do it standing up!

Watch out for that....

This morning, the boys and I got up and got ready pretty early this morning. I had some errands to run and knew that if I didn't light a fire under some little boys' butts, I wouldn't get to run my errands. So we head off to Walmart before 8am. That's right 8am! So I'm pushing around the big cart that has the 2 seats facing each other when Jack decides that he needs to stretch his legs. So the little bugger gets out and promises to hold my hand...yeah right! He takes off running. Now imagine a little boy running down the aisles in cowboy boots. Now these aren't any cowboy boots, these are Buzz and Woody boots. So as he's running Jack is watching his feet instead of where he's going. I yell, "Jack Dylan watch where you're going before..." Before I could finish my sentence Jack ran right into the pole. Not a little dinky pole, I'm talking the 1 foot concrete pole that anyone can see. Not only does my little man run into the pole, but he hits the fire extinguisher mounted on the side. The extinguisher catches the side of his head and lands on his shoulder before hitting the ground making a huge noise. I saw the whole thing happening and luckily it wasn't that bad. We could've been making a trip to the ER, but my kids have hard heads. The noise scared him more than the actual hit. There was an assistant manager who came by to see if he was ok. He was fine, so she picked up the extinguisher and put it where it belonged. As we're walking by I noticed that she just placed it in the holder and didn't fasten it in....REALLY???? Are people that stupid? So I fastened the latch so some poor soul wasn't walking by and accidentally hit it. At the check out counter, there were some long lines. There was a little boy 2 people a head of us and him and Jack started playing. The woman in front of us and I struck up a conversation. I was saying that my boys bounce back pretty quickly and gave the example of the fire extinguisher. She looked at me and said, "Oh so he's your little boy! I heard you warning him then before you could finish there was a big crash." I replied, "Yep, that's my boy!" Glad Jack left an impression on someone. There's an adventure with 2 little boys no matter where you go!

Holy Green Poop Batman!

Since several of my friends like hearing of the crazy adventures in my house, why not start a blog?!? So here it goes.

Today I was feeling really motivated, ready to get some cleaning done and have some fun doing it. First I was getting breakfast ready for the boys. Jack wanted fruit salad, so I started cutting up 2 melons that I had. I look over over Luke (who just turned 1 last weeks) was doing the Rocky dance on top of the dining room table! He figured out how to climb up the chairs and then climb onto the table. Yikes! So got him down and went back to making breakfast. I started to hear some commotion going on in the living room and look over just in time to see Jack push Luke off the chair. Luke just wasn't the same after that. Breakfast went well, nothing like some honey dew and cantaloupe and some Multi-Grain Cheerios for breakfast.

Once things were cleaned up Luke and I decided to start sorting out the toys. Luke has out grown some of his "baby" toys and we just need to make some room. All of a sudden I caught a whiff of something fowl. I look over and Jack has poop all over his butt, legs and on his foot! And it's just not the regular grade brown stuff, no, it's the green stuff. So I oh so carefully walk him to the bathroom and stop. My downstairs bathroom has green poo all over. It's covering the toilet, on my rug, you can see the footprints out the door. It's just gross. I remain calm, because Jack is awesome at going "ewww" in the potty. He was super easy to potty train. I look over and he has his hands on his hips and is shaking his head. He goes, "I'm just soooooo mad. I'm so mad that my ewwws didn't make it in the potty!" I had to just laugh. I looked over and told him that sometime accidents just happen and that it was ok, Mommy was going to clean it up. So after I cleaned the kid up and sent him out in the living room with a movie I got to work. Scrubbed my bathroom from top to bottom and washed the bathroom rug. Now that I think about it, it looked worse than it really was. I mean, I've dealt with much worse.

So since today's topic seems to be poop, I'll tell my favorite poop story. We were living in San Diego and Jack was about 10 or 11 months old. He was in the crib and really quiet, he usually was up no later than 730. It was almost 9am and I was getting a little worried. So I poked my head in his room, looked, then shut the door. I had to count to 10 then head back inside. Jack had taken his diaper off and decided to give himself a mudmask. It was perfectly applied, except it was poop! It went beautifully around his eyes and mouth. And it had dried on there. So I picked up my naked trouble maker and promptly took him to the tub. I put him in there, got the big clumps of stuff off, took the crazy boy out, bleached the tub THEN gave him a regular bath with soap and all. Suprisingly there wasn't poop anywhere else besides on him. I've heard horror stories of fingerpainting on the walls, etc. Luckily, I just have poop eaters.

Jack was so bad at taking off his diaper that we tried almost everything. Some recommended putting a onesie on, well he'd just reach up from the bottom of his onesie and undo the diaper and take it off. Some recommended putting it on backwards....sorry but my kid was just too smart for that. We even duct taped the diaper. That helped us out the most. It worked for a month or so, then he figured out how to take off the tape. So we just gave up and hoped he'd hurry up and outgrow it. Now that he's 3, he just likes to run around the house naked.

So what a way to start off the blog! Let me hear 3 cheers for poop! Some people are lucky and only have to deal with diapers, others like myself are elbow deep in it. I've gotten over my adversion to poop, vomit and other bodily functions since my little angels have arrived.